The perils of 'me time'

Becoming a parent can be an isolating experience.

Sure, it's magical and wonderful and fulfilling, and I am happier about having become a mom than I could ever have imagined being.

But it also puts me in a different demographic from many of my longtime friends. They are, for the most part, child-free, and can call one another up and say "Let's go to a movie/bar/concert/barbecue/lake! I'll pick you up in 20 minutes!"

Really, that is not even a void in my life. I do miss being spontaneous, but there's something else that makes me feel sort of whiny about the situation.

My husband is a bartender, which works out extremely well for us in terms of child care. He is the girls' primary caregiver during the day, and our work schedules seldom overlap, so we have the luxury of peace of mind and no child care expenses. For Maya and Kayla, it's ideal. For Brian and me, not so much. We don't have a mutual day off from work (we did, briefly, have Sundays, but no more), so there is never an evening when neither of us has just gotten off work and neither of us has to be at work in the morning. We make the best of it, though, and spend our weekday evenings together at home or on the occasional Tuesday date night.

But on Friday and Saturday nights — like tonight, for example — it's just me and the girls. Brian will be gone until the wee hours of the morning, slinging drinks for unruly college students, and I will be here, staying quiet, so I don't wake the babies. I'll read, or watch a movie, or I'll spend some time on Facebook. These are the nights when everyone else is out having fun, though, so there's not much interaction to be had online.

Even if I had no kids to watch over, it's not much fun to go out on a Friday night without your significant other, if you have one. With my coupled-up friends, I'm a third wheel. With my single friends, I'm a poor excuse for a wingman.

One day, Brian will have weekends free, too. By then, we probably won't be the party animals we once were, but that's ok.

Until then, I guess I will crack open a beer and try to make the most of the "me time" that a lot of other moms would probably envy.